How to take kids to church and enjoy it.
Yesterday, I experienced two ladies that pretty much gave away their chance at enjoying church because of kids. I have been in church all of my life. My kids have been in church for all of their lives. So, I know what you're thinking. My kids always sat perfectly still and quiet from the time they were toddlers because they knew what to do. Not quite! My boys were total horrors in church. My oldest spent most of his time either in the nursery, or with my parents in children's church. My daughter always did pretty good in church and didn't really give me a lot of problems. If I brought her snacks and something to keep her busy, she was fine. When my youngest got to that point of not doing well in church, my husband had just started pastoring and there wasn't really a nursery to take him to. I ended up spending my Sundays in a little room behind the sactuary. A lot of times I would wonder why I even bothered coming to church because I was never actually in the services. But, we made it through those days (FINALLY) and I learned a few things along the way. So, I hope I can help someone like these two ladies that were feeling kind of hopeless.
The first one was an aunt bringing her niece and nephew to church....for the first time.....EVER. Neither child had ever been to any type of church service, Sunday School, VBS, or any other church function. They are my neighbors' grandchildren so I was excited that they were there. I had never met the aunt, so she wanted to go to Sunday School with the kids. My Sunday School class is 3 - 6 year olds. Yesterday, of course, was the Sunday before Christmas and the kids were EXCITED!! They knew that we had some exciting things planned and so the excitement was brimming over. So, to put it mildly, my class was pretty much crazy. I did the best that I could singing with them and giving them a few minutes of a lesson before we had a snack and a project to work on. The aunt was so busy trying to get her 3 year old niece to sit down and be quiet that it was making ME nervous. LOL There were not many kids yesterday that were on their best behavior. I was happy that there were only a few kids not in their chairs and that most were cooperating (or at least trying).
So, your neighbor has been begging you to bring your kids to church, but you've never taken them before and you really aren't sure how they are going to do. What do you do? Take them. If you don't feel comfortable leaving them in a class by themselves, ask the teacher if it will be okay for you to stay with them on their first Sunday. Most teachers are going to be okay with that. You will be able to get a taste of what they will experience in Sunday School and see how the teacher interacts with the kids. If you feel comfortable leaving them, then do that. Leave them. They will probably do better without you. They will watch the other kids and follow their leads. They may not know exactly what to do, but they will learn and they will enjoy it. Don't stress yourself out trying to make them be perfect. If the teacher has been teaching for any length of time, they will know that new kids have to get adjusted to a new experience. You will cause yourself, the child and the teacher much unwanted stress trying to make the child sit still and be quiet in a teaching environment where they've never had to do that before. Take a breath....it's okay. I promise!
The second lady has been coming to our church for a few months now with her 5 children with our van ministry. Three of her children are in my Sunday School class; a two year old, a three year old and a five year old. They are sweet kids and they have gotten used to being in Sunday school and Children's Church and they are doing AWESOME! I've grown quite attached to them because they are there every Sunday. She brought the kids to church last night for the first time to a night service. Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights we have things going on for kids, but not on Sunday nights. She was mixed up about what time our services started so she got there late and it had been raining all day long yesterday so everything was wet. The three year old was upset because his shoes were wet. They sat behind me and when he saw me he said, "Mrs. Tab, my shoes are wet" The mom was trying to get him to be quiet, but it wasn't working. I even turned around and told her that he was fine, but she was so upset. She just put her head down in her hands and cried. We had had our Christmas play and so the service was pretty much over and my husband was making some final announcements and prayer requests at that point, so I didn't try to take him out or anything. I felt really bad for her and wanted to talk to her after the service, but she got out before I could get to her.
So, there's not a nursery or a program going on for your kids and they are not doing well sitting in church, what should you do? First of all, be prepared. Bring some snacks (something that won't stain or be too hard to clean up)coloring books and crayons, hand held games (with the sound off) whatever will keep your child quiet. Sitting for that long is hard for kids, especially if they've never had to do it before. Think of something special you can do for them if they are good. Explain to them what you are doing and tell them if they do good, you will do something special for them. Something like, "we are going to church and you will need to be very quiet and sit still for a little while, but if you can do that, we will....(go to the park, go to McDonalds for lunch, get an icecream...whatever). Then, be ready with your back up plan. When it's time to be quiet and they're really having a hard time give them the snack or the coloring book or whatever you need to do. Let them get used to sitting for that amount of time for a few Sundays.
It's hard for kids to sit for a long amount of time. You know your kids better than anyone else so you know what will work and what won't. Just make sure that you are being curteous to the ones around you by not making a big mess and not bringing toys that makes lots of noise. Don't give up if you have a few bad experiences. Talk to the Pastor's wife or some of the other ladies at church, they may be willing to sit with you and help you or sit with the child in the nursery if necessary.
The first one was an aunt bringing her niece and nephew to church....for the first time.....EVER. Neither child had ever been to any type of church service, Sunday School, VBS, or any other church function. They are my neighbors' grandchildren so I was excited that they were there. I had never met the aunt, so she wanted to go to Sunday School with the kids. My Sunday School class is 3 - 6 year olds. Yesterday, of course, was the Sunday before Christmas and the kids were EXCITED!! They knew that we had some exciting things planned and so the excitement was brimming over. So, to put it mildly, my class was pretty much crazy. I did the best that I could singing with them and giving them a few minutes of a lesson before we had a snack and a project to work on. The aunt was so busy trying to get her 3 year old niece to sit down and be quiet that it was making ME nervous. LOL There were not many kids yesterday that were on their best behavior. I was happy that there were only a few kids not in their chairs and that most were cooperating (or at least trying).
So, your neighbor has been begging you to bring your kids to church, but you've never taken them before and you really aren't sure how they are going to do. What do you do? Take them. If you don't feel comfortable leaving them in a class by themselves, ask the teacher if it will be okay for you to stay with them on their first Sunday. Most teachers are going to be okay with that. You will be able to get a taste of what they will experience in Sunday School and see how the teacher interacts with the kids. If you feel comfortable leaving them, then do that. Leave them. They will probably do better without you. They will watch the other kids and follow their leads. They may not know exactly what to do, but they will learn and they will enjoy it. Don't stress yourself out trying to make them be perfect. If the teacher has been teaching for any length of time, they will know that new kids have to get adjusted to a new experience. You will cause yourself, the child and the teacher much unwanted stress trying to make the child sit still and be quiet in a teaching environment where they've never had to do that before. Take a breath....it's okay. I promise!
The second lady has been coming to our church for a few months now with her 5 children with our van ministry. Three of her children are in my Sunday School class; a two year old, a three year old and a five year old. They are sweet kids and they have gotten used to being in Sunday school and Children's Church and they are doing AWESOME! I've grown quite attached to them because they are there every Sunday. She brought the kids to church last night for the first time to a night service. Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights we have things going on for kids, but not on Sunday nights. She was mixed up about what time our services started so she got there late and it had been raining all day long yesterday so everything was wet. The three year old was upset because his shoes were wet. They sat behind me and when he saw me he said, "Mrs. Tab, my shoes are wet" The mom was trying to get him to be quiet, but it wasn't working. I even turned around and told her that he was fine, but she was so upset. She just put her head down in her hands and cried. We had had our Christmas play and so the service was pretty much over and my husband was making some final announcements and prayer requests at that point, so I didn't try to take him out or anything. I felt really bad for her and wanted to talk to her after the service, but she got out before I could get to her.
So, there's not a nursery or a program going on for your kids and they are not doing well sitting in church, what should you do? First of all, be prepared. Bring some snacks (something that won't stain or be too hard to clean up)coloring books and crayons, hand held games (with the sound off) whatever will keep your child quiet. Sitting for that long is hard for kids, especially if they've never had to do it before. Think of something special you can do for them if they are good. Explain to them what you are doing and tell them if they do good, you will do something special for them. Something like, "we are going to church and you will need to be very quiet and sit still for a little while, but if you can do that, we will....(go to the park, go to McDonalds for lunch, get an icecream...whatever). Then, be ready with your back up plan. When it's time to be quiet and they're really having a hard time give them the snack or the coloring book or whatever you need to do. Let them get used to sitting for that amount of time for a few Sundays.
It's hard for kids to sit for a long amount of time. You know your kids better than anyone else so you know what will work and what won't. Just make sure that you are being curteous to the ones around you by not making a big mess and not bringing toys that makes lots of noise. Don't give up if you have a few bad experiences. Talk to the Pastor's wife or some of the other ladies at church, they may be willing to sit with you and help you or sit with the child in the nursery if necessary.
Comments
Post a Comment